Statistics prove, prove that you have one birthday

One birthday, every year

But there are three hundred and sixty four unbirthdays

That is why, we're gathered here to cheer

A very merry unbirthday to you, to you

A very merry unbirthday to you, to you

It's great to drink to someone

And I guess that you will do

A very merry unbirthday to you

A very merry unbirthday to us, to us

A very merry unbirthday to us

If there are no objections

Let it be unanimous

A very merry unbirthday to us

A very merry unbirthday to me

(To who?)

A very merry unbirthday to me

(To you)

Let's all congratulate me with a present

I agree

A very merry unbirthday to me

A very merry unbirthday to all, to all

A very merry unbirthday to all, to all

Let's have a celebration

Hire a band

And rent a hall

A very merry unbirthday

A very merry unbirthday

A very merry unbirthday to all