Given up on tryin' to meet real-life women
With what they put me through, I couldn't see no future with 'em
So I bought a computer set
And I got on the Internet
And headed out for a little taste of CyberLivin'

Well I found me a Users Group for the sad and lonely
Where they don't even care if you're skinny, bald or homely
There were thousands to choose from
But I was lookin for a special one
And I finally found my precious one-&-only...

Chorus:
She's my email female
We fit perfectly
We practice safe sex
Electronically
She my email female
She knows what words to say
So I plug in with her every night
From two time zones away

Interlude:
We're always so relaxed around each other
And I never get surprise visits from her mother
I could be sober or drunk
Or I could smell just like a skunk
And the message on the screen still reads, "Howya doin', Lover!"

Bridge:
She's my CyberHoney, she's the one I chose
Cause I know with her, anything goes
I never need to change the sheets
Hell I don't even have to brush my teeth

She's my email female
She knows what words to say
So I plug in with her every night
From two time zones awaaay