Friday night I started my first fist fight

Got me kicked out of the bar

When I went stumbling through

The parking lot, you know

I could not find my car

So I bummed a ride from Bessie

My old school friend

She said, "Honey, where you want to go?"

But all I said is, "I think this might be the end

And I'm feeling sick so could you drive me slow?"

Because my man he up and left me, left me in dust

Doctor, lawyer, banker, tell me who can I trust?

Somebody fix me

Fix me from head to toe

You'd better drop a line

Or else you're leaving me out in cold

That man of mine he sure was one of a kind

He never did treat me wrong

He was the sweet kind of man

Who kept me straight in line

But now he's got me singing this low-down song

Now I ain't got nobody 'round

To come and help me get well

When all I do is drink and cry

Preacher man said

"Baby, why don't you help yourself?"

But I'm too low-down to even try

I've drank up all my brandy, finished all my wine

I need your love candy, make me feel just fine

I was a real good girl for most of my early life

I figured someday I'd make some man a real good wife

I always washed my knickers, pressed my blue, blue jeans

I've got no idea how I got so mean

Now my man he up and left me, left me in the dust

Doctor, lawyer, banker, tell me who can I trust?