Here's a story about a boy named Jerry:
Got slaughtered then got real leery.
In the pub he acted absurd
Then came home to a boxer's bird.
So he got knocked out,
Faced swelled up like a rainbow trout.
His girl found out the truth,
But he couldn't explain 'cause he'd lost a tooth!

Here's a story about a chap named Garf:
Drank four pints in a hour 'n' a half.
Though the night had just begun
Because his local pub's open 'till one.
The next morning out in the country,
Hung over and on a hunt he
Was still drunk and he pissed himself;
Fell off his horse and shot himself!

Our liquid lives! (x7)
This is how we all survive!

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke!
Fuck, fuck!
Fight, fight!
(x2)

Drink! Smoke! Fuck! Fight!
Drink! Smoke! Fuck! Fight!
Drink! Smoke! Fuck! Fight!
Drink! Smoke! Fuck! Fight!

Spinning! My head is spinning,
Up, around, around and
Down to the pub, up to the club!
My stomach's turning,
Oh, my body's burning.
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke!
Fuck, fuck!
Fight, fight!
(x3)

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke!
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke!
Fuck, fuck!
Fight, fight!
(x2)