I thought I'd make a living off of mason jars
In case I fail at something that's from the heart

CHORUS
But I found out it was only worth like three bucks
and there are no returns so I'm kind of stuck
So I just stuck it on the shelf right there
And I fill it with the whiskers that I pick up

I thought I'd make a living on the Price Is Right
But you know I could never afford the flight
Besides, what, just to play the game
I mean besides they'd probably never say my name

REPEAT CHORUS

I thought I'd make a living on the Mega Millions but
I only got one number right
And I had to go to three gas stations at eleven o'clock at night

REPEAT CHORUS

And they'll bring me luck