The Techies have invaded they're everywhere you look
And every conversation is a dull computer book
They rant about assembly and rave of memories
I'd love to find some way to tell them I don't speak Technese

Chorus: Calm down, it's only ones and zeros
Calm down, it's only bits and bytes
Calm down and speak to me in English
Please realize that I'm not one of your computerites

They stand around for hours as I'm sure you've seen and heard
But only other Techies understand a single word
With firmware, hardware, software, beware never turn your back
The guy you thought was liveware is another Techie hack

The Techie faction's growing, the day may be at hand
When everyone must learn Technese by government command
I'd rather be a renegade and speak in rhyme and verse
Technese is bad for everyday their poetry is worse

I think I'll learn to program and when I know it well
I'll rearrange each mainframe clear from here to Hacker's Hell
It may take me a lifetime but when I'm finally through
The damned computers all will talk like normal people do

Chorus: Calm down, it's only ones and zeros
Calm down, it's only bits and bytes
Calm down and speak to me in English
Unless you want to sleep alone through all your future nights
I've had enough and one more word will cause some awful fights
Please realize that I'm not one of your computerites, oh, no.

Words and music: Kathy Mar

Copyright 1985 Kathy Mar