I'm in the papers far too much
You're wondering why there's all this fuss
An under-dressed little blonde singing this dumb little song
Haven't we seen all this before?

I'm number one in the download charts
You bought this record, but you can't remember why any more
Keep asking how
This Lady's so big
Then you remember it's because I'm wearing no

Pants!
When I'm on the bus
Da, da, da, dum
No pants!
It creates a buzz
Da, da, da, dum
No pants
I'm ridiculous
Da, da, da, dum
No pants, pants
Pants, pants

I just dress up like a shortage twat
Enormous shades and stupid hats
This song is just Euro-pop
Think I'm trendy, but I'm not

I'd better wear less clothes tonight

So no pants
When I'm playing Pool
Da, da, da, dum
No pants
When I do a stool
Da, da, da, dum
No pants
Do you think it's cool?
Da, da, da, dum
No pants, pants
Pants, pants