(Kris Kristofferson)

If I look like a mean old man that's what I am
If I look like a mean old man that's what I am
If I look like a mean old man who'll do you any way he can
To break your heart and kiss your hand that's what I am.

And if I look like a good old friend that's what I am
If I look like a good old friend that's what I am
If I look like a good old friend who's good at bending with the wind
To be your friend right to the end that's what I am.

And if I look like a voodoo doll that's what I am
If I look like a voodoo doll that's what I am
If I look like a voodoo doll who takes his licking standing tall
Who'd rather bite you back than crawl that's what I am.

--- Instrumental ---

If I look like your uncle Bob that's what I am
If I look like your uncle Bob that's what I am
If I look like your uncle Bob who likes to slap you on the back and rob
While he still can do the job that's what I am.

And if I look like a voodoo doll that's what I am
If I look like a voodoo doll that's what I am
If I look like a voodoo doll who takes his licking standing tall
Who'd rather bite you back than crawl that's what I am...