Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and
begged you not to leave because I'd go berzerk?
Well, you left me anyhow and the days got worse and
worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind.

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time,
and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
and they're coming to take me away ha ha

You thought it was joke and so you laughed,
you laughed when I had said that losing you would make
me flip my lid, right? You know you laughed,
I heard you laugh, you laughed,
you laughed and laughed and then you left,
but now you know I'm utterly mad.

And they're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping
birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle
their thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away ha ha...

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house,
and this is how you paid me back for all my kind unselfish
loving deeds. Huh? Well you just wait they'll find
you yet, and when they do they'll put you in the ASPCA you mangy mutt.

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
and I'll be happy to see those nice men in their clean white coats
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping
birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle
thier thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha Ha

Your home the one the bank foreclosed,
You cried to me Monogamy is the way we both must live
or you'll feel hurt. But, I see,
I see there's someone new,
your anxious poly-pure-bred coat was even gone at our
place while I paid the rent, thanks!

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the loony bin with all you can eat perscription
drugs like torizine, and lithium, and electric shock and insulin
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha