Sir, I do appreciate the offer
I don't believe I caught your name
I don't get to get out very often
It's hard to find the time to get away
I think it's only fair you hear my story
Before you spend three-fifty on that beer.

I got two little kids that call me Momma
My fifteen-year-old thinks that I'm a witch
Between soccer practice and ballet
Eminem an' Dr. Dre
Romance is the last thing on my list
So, Frank, was it? Tell me what you think
Do you still want to buy me that drink?

Frank, tell me, how d'you feel
About teenage girls bein' on the pill?
An' do you mind Friday nights at home?
'Cause, Frankie, I've been here before
Married twice an' twice divorced
An' alimony sure don't pay the bills
Now that's an awful lot of information
But I don't have the time to mess around.

'Cause I got two little kids that call me Momma
An' my fifteen-year-old wants to pierce his lip
Between algebra an' spellin' bees
An' anythin' to keep the peace
Romance is the last thing on my list
So, Frank, honey, tell me what you think
Do you still want to buy me that drink?

--- Instrumental ---

I got two little kids that call me Momma
An' my fifteen-year-old's really a good kid
I really wouldn't blame you none
If you got the urge to up an' run
Is bein' "Daddy" even on your list?
So, Frank, darlin', tell me what you think
Do you still want to buy me
I'll have a Miller Lite, please
If you still want to buy me that drink.

Frank, c'mon back Frank
You look a little pale, Frank
It was just a joke...