He'll eat your pies, he'll tell you lies,
You wouldn't believe that fat bastard's size
His massive gut is forty foot, it goes dark when he walks in the pub
His buttocks part, you'll smell his farts,
He's so fat, he can't wipe his own arse.
So now you've heard about the ugly turd,
He's a virgin and he's never had a bird
Does anyone know he's gay? He goes round spreading AIDs.
(We haven't got a clue where the fat fucker is)
Has anyone seen him eat? He's never seen his feet.
The fat bastard.

Five hundred pounds, he's very round,
But he gets taller when he lies on the ground
He busts his flies, but he can't hide,
Coz he's too big, too fat and too fucking wide
Can anyone guess his weight? That was his fourteenth plate
(We haven't got a clue where the fat fucker is)
His backside blubbers about, cleavage peeping out
The fat bastard
Where's the fat cunt at? Even his fat is fat.
(Found him, he's over here)
You took your time to spot him, he's got an enormous bottom
The fat bastard