Stay in your offices
Lock all your doors
'Cos nobody messes
With Radio 4

In the elevator
Go straight past our floor
'Cos nobody messes
With Radio 4

Evan Davies and the Moneybox crew
Roam the corridors
Spoiling for a rumble
With the gang from You & Yours

They push past the Shipping Forecast boys
But it all soon turns sour
If they bump into Jenny Murray
'Cos then it's Woman's Hour

Andy Marr knows who you are
No words escape those ears
Mark Lawson lurks with harsh reviews
To play upon your fears

Be careful you don't find yourself
Lost in a Moral Maze
It's just you and Melanie Phillips
Going round for days and days

The canteen is murder
And the toilets are war
Nobody messes
With Radio 4

So say a Prayer For the Day
And don't ask anymore
'Cos nobody messes
With Radio 4

Nobody messes with Radio 4