Well if no one ever marries me
And I don't see why they should
Nurse says I'm not pretty
And you know I'm seldom good, seldom good

Well if no one ever marries me
I shan't mind very much
Buy a squirrel in a cage
And a little rabbit-hutch

No one marries me
If no one marries me
No one marries me
If no one marries me
Well if no one marries me

I'll have a cottage near a wood
And a pony all my own
A little lamb quite clean and tame
That I can take to town

When I'm really getting old
At twenty-eight or nine
I'll buy myself a little orphan-girl
And bring her up as mine

No one marries me
If no one marries me
No one marries me
If no one marries me
If no one marries me
Marries me
Well if no one marries me
Marries me
If no one marries me