Your hubcaps cost more than my car
And your car cost more than my house
Your house cost more than I could make in twenty years
But your balloon cost the same as mine

As you drive away, I laugh with my friends
'Cause I just cost you your life
And when they find your body slumped over the wheel
I'll be in bed soundly asleep

Your epitaph was written by a Cardinal
Your coffin was carved out of a tree
Your funeral was attended by thousands
But your overdose was arranged by me

As I read the morning paper, I laugh with my friends
I just took out a man of God
He is survived by seven kids and precious wife
He died of unknown causes in his car