Johnny was a pyro and he acted like a baby

Wanted all this attention I couldn't give

Drink a bottle of hard stuff, say I love you now save me

Just a big guy with a funny sense of sin



And the neighbor down the block in his underwear and socks

Keeping track of the losses and wins with his wife

Hanging out the window wondering which way the wind blows

As I fumble the key in the lock again, singing



Oh me, what am I doing with this ring on my hand?

Oh me, if this is the good life who's choosin' it?

Oh me, mama's best woman and daddy's best man

Oh me, I'm highly in danger of losin' it



Johnny was a pyro and he acted like a baby

Got a phone call from the wild almost every night

Well, he loved me but he really loved looking past me to the ladies

He was much too good looking for his height



We were a couple of kids crawling out of the crib

Talking about the positives and the negatives of wine

Living our lives just like Hemingway did

But he was lucky, he was a genius most the time



Oh me, what am I doing with this ring on my hand?

Oh me, if this is the good life who's choosin' it?

Oh me, mama's best woman and daddy's best man

Oh me, I'm highly in danger of losin' it



He was sideswiped by the clue bus when it came to talking two of us

And the whole thing ended ugly, I guess

You can put your cards out on the table but if nobody wants to play

Well, you haven't got a game, you got a mess



And I was looking at the judge leaning on my lawyer like a crutch

And the judge said what happened and why?

I said, "Johnny was a pyro and he acted like a baby"

Now there's nothing like the sound of good bye



Oh me, what am I doing with this ring on my hand?

Oh me, if this is the good life who's choosin' it?

Oh me, mama's best woman and daddy's best man

Oh me, I'm highly in danger of losin' it



Johnny was a pyro and he acted like a baby

Wanted all of this attention I couldn't give