Well, there's a boy down Shelby Gap
And I like sittin' on his lap
I'm his gal and he's my man
We been makin' weddin' plans.

Brought him home to meet my ma
She raised Cain and dropped her jaw
"Girl, you're crazy as a bat
You ain't gonna marry that."

Looka here mama, looka here daddy
This is my true love, we're gonna get married
Ain't a gonna hem-haw, ain't a gonna tarry
This is my big chance, we're gonna get married.

Oh, mama, daddy, can't you see
Holler's closin' in on me
Cousins pourin' down like rain
They're runnin' out of given names.

It's so crowded I can't breathe
You need one less mouth to feed
Forty dozen here at home
You won't miss me when I'm gone.

Looka here mama, looka here daddy
This is my true love, we're gonna get married
Ain't a gonna hem-haw, ain't a gonna tarry
This is my big chance, we're gonna get married.

Oh, he's the prettiest in these hills
I don't hitch him, some gal will
You just messed up my big chance
For married bliss and true romance.

Two things y'all don't realize
Shelby boys is mighty shy
And courtin' life is extra hard
If I can't keep 'em in the yard.

Oh, another one gone...