Candace: Mom, look, don't roll your eyes at me
Mom, look, just come over and see
Mom, look, it shouldn't be so hard
Mom, look, they built it in the backyard

Candace: Once they made it winter in June
Linda: I didn't see it
Candace: Built a rocket to the moon
Linda: I didn't see it
Candace: Mom, they caused me so much pain!
Linda: Now, Candace
Candace: Once they even gave me Perry's brain
Linda: Oh for crying out loud

Candace: They built a submarine, a time machine
A haunted house that made me scream
Drove cattle through the mall
Built a giant bowling ball
Blew me up to fifty feet
A chariot dragged me down the street

(Candace stops to catch her breath)
Background Singers: La la la la la la la la

Candace: Made their stupid clothes a fashion craze
Shoelace tips a household phrase
Shot me through a circus tent
Always asked where Perry went.
A lava flow destroyed my face
A giant roller derby race
Thawed a caveman out of ice
Built a roller coaster twice!