Candace: AHHH! AAAAAHHHHH! AHHHH! AAAAHHHHH! AHH!
Street Performer 1: Now somebody, anybody, everybody scream!
Candace: AHHHHHHH! There are squirrels in my pants!
Street Performer 1: That girl's got some serious squirrels in her pants.
Candace: There's squirrels in my pants!
Street Performer 1: Tell me what's making you jump like that!
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!
Street Performer 1: Ain't got no chickens, Ain't got no rats.....
Background singers: S-I-M-P,
Candace and Background singers: Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: S to the I to the M to the P,
Then maybe you can be moving like me...
Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it down...
Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!
Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P)
Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it...
Background singers and Street Performer 2: S to the I to the M to the P!
Street Performer 2: Who you got back home, watering your plants...
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: How can I qualify for government grants?
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 2: Yeah... Hypnotize me, put me in a trance...
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!
Street Performer 1: Got an Aunt Florence living in France...
Background singers: She can't see the-
Candace: Squirrels in my Pants!
Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...
Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!
Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P,)
Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...
Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Candace: AAH!
Street Performer 1: Wow! She had actual squirrels in her pants.
Street Performer 2: We just got served.

Extended Version:

Candace: There are squirrels in my pants!
Street Performer 1: Tell me what's makin' you jump like that!
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!
Street Performer 1: Ain't got no chickens, Ain't got no rats...
Background singers: S-I-M-P,
Candace and Background singers: Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1 and Background Singers: S to the I to the M to the P
Then maybe you can be movin' like me...
Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it down...
Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!
Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P)

Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it...
Background singers and Street Performer 2: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 2: Who you got back home, waterin' your plants?
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: How can I qualify for government grants?
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 2: Yeah... Hypnotize me, put me in a trance...
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Got an Aunt Florence livin' in France...
Background singers: She can't see the-
Candace: Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...
Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!
Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P,)
Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...
Background singers and Street Performer 1: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: If you wanna know how I'm doin' this dance
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: There's somethin' in my trousers,
you know it ain't ants!
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Yeah... Proletariat, bourgeoisie!
Background singers: Baby you don't need an academic degree!
Street Performer 1: Everybody's smellin' my potpourri!
Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!
Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...
Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!
Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...
Background singer, Street Performer 1 and Street Performer 2:
Down, down, on the ground...
'Cause you know I got it goin' on!

Background singer: (S...) S to the I to the M to the P!
(I...) S to the I to the M to the P!
(M...) S to the I to the M to the P!
Street Performer 1: If your pockets are empty get a cash advance!
Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!
Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Background singer: (S...) S to the I to the M to the P!
Street Performer 2: If you're losin' your hair get yourself implants!
Background singer: (I..) S to the I to the M to the P!
Street Performer 2: If you're wrestlin' a bear
then you ain't got a chance!
Background singer: (M...)
S to the I to the M to the P!
Street Performer 1: Old Uncle Freddy just rages and rants!
Background singer, Street Performer 1 and Street Performer 2:
Ain't about love!
Ain't about romance!
I got squirrels in my pants!