John Rioux was his hane
Screwing up was his game
Oh gosh he hates his folks
In fact, his whole life is a joke

Well he's only seventeen
He knows everything
His brain's malfunctioning

He's a teenage gluesniffer
Well he's a teenage gluesniffer
Well he's a teenage gluesniffer
Oh oh oh yeah
Oh oh oh yeah

Shane Problem is his name
Whacking off is his game
Girls all think he's a joke
His fanzine is a hoax

Well he's only twenty two
His diet is quite rude
Eat's Denny's and pukes

He's a teenage gluesniffer
Well he's a teenage gluesniffer
Well he's a teenage gluesniffer
Oh oh oh yeah
Oh oh oh yeah

He's an asshole
He's a bonehead
He's a jerkoff
He's a real waste case
He's a real waste case
He's a teenage gluesniffer
Well he's a teenage gluesniffer...