I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon

And raise big bucks for MDA

'cause Jerry raises millions every year

And we'll equally divide the pay

I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon

With great big famous Vegas superstars

And that jerk with three trained oranguatans

We'll play real fast and smash our guitars

[Chorus:]

Slam dancing with Jerry's kids

And having lots of fun

Singing swearwords on the air

Yeah, Jerry's number one

He'd say we're number one till he heard us play

Then he'd kick us off the show

But it's too late, we're here to stay

And we aren't gonna go

I wanna do the natural act with Charo

Tango with old men in pink golf pants

I wanna play killer thrashing punk

So even Jerry will slamdance

I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon

And booze backstage with Ed McMahon

Your pledges will buy us lots of beer

So call right now and pledge a hundred grand

[Repeat Chorus]