I plopped down in my easy chair
And I turned on channel two.
A bad gunslinger named Salty Sam
Was chasin' poor Sweet Sue.
He trapped her in the old sawmill
And said with an evil laugh,
"If you don't give me the deed to your ranch I'll saw y'all in half.

And then he grabbed her...
(Sue: Help he grabbed me!)
He tied her up...
(Help he's tyin' me up!)
He turned on the BUZZ-SAW...
(He's turnin' on the buzz saw!!!)

And then...and then...

And then along came Jones.
Tall thin Jones.
Slow walkin' Jones, Low talkin' Jones.
Along came long lean lanky Jones.

Commercial came on, so I got up to fix myself a snack.
You should have seen what was going on by the time that I got back.

Down in the old abandoned mine,
Sweet Sue was havin' fits,
That villain said "Give me the deed to your ranch, or I'll blow y'all to bits".

And then he grabbed her...
(Help he grabbed Me!)
He tied her up...
(Help, he's tying me up!!)
He lit the fuse to the dynamite...
(He's lightin' the fuse to the dynamite!!!)

And then...and then...

And then along came Jones
Tall thin Jones.
Slow walkin' Jones, Low talkin' Jones.
Along came long lean lanky Jones.

I got so bugged I turned it off and turned on another show.
But there was the same old shoot- em-up, and the same old rodeo.
Salty Sam was tryin' to stuff Sweet Sue in a burlap sack.

"If you don't give me the deed to your ranch I'll throw you on the railroad track!"

And then he grabbed her...
(Help he grabbed me, help!)
He tied her up...
(Here we go again... same routine... tyin' me up...)
He threw her on the railraod track,
(He's throwin' me on the railroad track!!!)
The train started comin'
(Ohhh! Here comes the train! Here comes the train!! Help! ... Help! ... Oh!!! Help help!... help...)

And then...and then...
And then along came Jones
Tall thin Jones.
Slow walkin' Jones, Low talkin' Jones.
Along came long lean lanky Jones.