Well out in the country we didn't have mortuaries
and so it was always customary
for the undertaker to do his job
to lay your kin out right there at home.
Yeah the church would loan ya foldin' chairs
and you'd have visitation and everything right there
but when the nighttime come you'd have to sit up with the dead
'cause it wasn't right to leave them alone.

Well, the last time I sat up was in '65
when my old arthritic Uncle Fred died
he was 97 so stooped over the morticians couldn't straighten him out.
They used used a loggin' chain to hold him down
covered that all up with a cape and a gown
and didn't tell no body in the family
'cause that's the kind of stuff folks just don't want to know about

Well we were all sittin' there it was 3 in the mornin'
And then there come up a cloud, a thunderin lightnin' and stromin'
The lightnin' flashed and that thunder clapped
and that chain 'round old Uncle Fred went 'snap'
and rattled and fell to the floor with a thump
and Uncle Fred just sat right up.

And I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more, I don't know 'bout you
No, I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more, no matter what ya say or do.
They say the dead can't hurt ya cause they already left
but what they left can sure make ya hurt yourself.
And I ain't sittin up with the dead no more
since the dead started sittin up too.

Lord have mercy

Well when Uncle Fred sat up so did everyone there
and there came a great partin' of the foldin chairs.
And that preacher nearly knocked me down, he said
"Oh, I'm headin' out that kitchen door!"
I hollered "Rev that kitchen ain't got no door in it"
He said "Don't worry son, it will have in minute."
And I ain't never seen so much jumpin' and shovin' before.

And then somebody stepped on the old cat's tail
it let out a scream, a screech, a wail
and to say the least that howl didn't help to calm the situation down.
And then that lightnin' flashed and that house went black
and I spoke to feet I said "Boy let's make tracks"
and I went out that screen door lickety split for town.

Well I cut through the cemetary, fell in a hole.
It was Uncle Fred's grave and it was dark and cold.
Yeah, the town drunk dug it and he dug it too deep
and unbeknownst to me he's still in there asleep
and I'm scratchin' and jumpin' trying to get out of that hole
and he woke up and says
"Might as well come over here and sit down beside me boy
'cause you ain't gettin' outa here tonight."
But I did.

And I ain't sittin up with the dead no more, I don't know about you.
No, I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more no matter what ya say or do
They say the dead can't hurt ya 'cause they already left
but what they left can sure make you hurt yourself.
And I ain't sittin up with the dead no more
since the dead started sittin up too.

Wasn't no sense in nobody sittin' up with Uncle Fred anyhow
Uncle Fred gonna be sittin' up with his own self
Next time I'm just gonna send Flowers
Yeah