I had a dream last night I was cast into Hell by a jealous God
The Devil walked up and said you don't need no lightning rod
It hardly ever rains down here I can't recall the last storm
You aint gonna need that leather jacket it gets kinda warm
There's one way in there's no way out looks like you're to stay
The place is a mess, it's overcrowded, more are coming in everyday.

I said ah man, wait a minute there's gotta be something wrong
I aint a bad guy just write these little songs
I always pay my union dues don't stay in the passing lane
And he said what about all that whiskey and the cocaine
I said well yeah but that's no reason to throw me in Hell
'Cause I didn't use the cocaine to get high, I just liked the way it smelled.

He said come on over here son, let me show you around
Over there's where we put the preachers, I never liked those clowns
They're always blaming me for everything wrong under the sun
It aint harder to what's right, it's just maybe not as much fun
Then the walk around thinking they're better than me and you
Then they get caught in a motel room doing what they said not to do.

Now the murderers and the rapists they go in this firey lake
As well as most of the politician and the cops on the take
And all the mothers that wait to get to KMart to spank their kids
Instead of showing what to do what's right, they just hit 'em for what they did
And all the daddy's who run off and abandon their daughters and sons
Oh anybody that hurts a child is gonna burn until it's done.

Everybody is down here I said who's up in Heaven with God and the Son
Oh some saints and mystics and students of metaphysics 101
People who care and share and love and try to do what's right
Beautiful old souls who read a little stories to their babies every night
What you won't find up in Heaven are christian coalition right wing conservatives
Country program directors and Nashville record executives.

Now I said I've made some mistakes, but I'm not as bad as those guys
How can God to this to me or can't she sympathize
He said you're wrong about God being cruel and mean
Oh God is the most loving thing that's never been seen
I said hotshot tell me this which religion is the truest
He said there all about the same, Budda was not a Christian, but Jesus
woulda made a good buddist.

Well, I thought about my future I didn't seem to have much of one
I looked around to leave but there was no place to run
I said I don't suppose I could go back and try living again
You know like reincarnation I hear that's the way it's always been
I can't answer that he said you're gonna have to wait for that response
But it's not any more unusual to be born twice than it is to be born once.

Well, it looked like I was gonna be stuck here as far as I could tell
I thought I might as well suck up you know what the hell
I said you know that soung that Charlie Daniels did
About how you went down to Georgia and played fiddle against that kid
He said yeah it broke my heart but you know what are you gonna do
I said to tell you the truth I thought your solo was the better of the two.

Well, then I woke up and I was lying in my bed
I went upstairs and kissed my little boy on his sleeping head
I took this dream as a sign from God so I thought I'd better pray
I said don't ever speak to me directly and thanks anyway
Now so much has changed about me besides me just giving up red meat
Some get spiritual cause they see the light and some cause they feel the heat...