It's awfully bad luck on Diana

Her ponies have swallowed their bits

She fished down their throats with a spanner

And frightened them all into fits

So now she's attempting to borrow

Do lend her some bits Mummy do

I'll lend her my own for tomorrow

But today I'll be wanting them too

Just look at Prunella on Guzzle

The wizardest pony on earth

Why doesn't she slacken his muzzle

And tighten the breech in his girth

I say Mummy there's Mrs. Geyser

And doesn't she look pretty sick

I bet it's because Mona Lisa

Was hit on the hock with a brick

Miss Blewitt says Monica threw it

But Monica says it was Joan

And Joan's very thick with Miss Blewitt

So Monica's sulking alone

And Margaret failed in her paces

Her withers got tied in a noose

So her coronets caught in the traces

And now all her fetlocks are loose

Oh it's me now I'm terribly nervous

I wonder if Smudges will shy

She's practically certain to swerve us

Her Pelham is over one eye

Oh wasn't it naughty of Smudges

Oh Mummy I'm sick with disgust

She threw me in front of the judges

And my silly old collarbone's bust