Ever since I was a boy
I've been afraid of clowns
Their horrifying faces
Never failed to bring me down
The only thing more scary
Are sharks deep in the sea
I couldn't touch a swimming pool
'til I was twenty three
Still every night I thank
Each of the stars up in the sky
There's no such thing as clown sharks
Out there to make me cry
A world without that nightmare
Is a world where I can be
Happy and relaxed
In an endless state of peace

CLOWN SHARK
I'm real
I'm here
I'm worse than you feared
I can juggle five balls
And then swallow a deer
I'm coming for you from the hell depths beneath
I've got pancake makeup
And razor-sharp teeth
I use big clown shoes
To chase you on land
I crush cars with my jaws
And my giant fun hands

Oh no, please tell me that this is a trick

Do I look like I'm joking?
Just pray you die quick

Did that really just happen?
It couldn't have been real
No creature's ever wanted to
Honk horns then eat a seal
There's no such thing as clown sharks
And those are just the facts
I'm calming down inside
And I can finally relax

CLOWN SHARK
I'm scarier than ever
It's time for you to panic
My rainbow wig
Makes me more aerodynamic
I got big floppy pants
And black eyes in my head
Here's a funny balloon
Shaped like you being dead
I use my sense of smell
To locate you in the park
Then I drove here in a Miata
Filled with fifteen other sharks
My jolly red nose
Is smelling blood in the water
So step right up for
A feeding frenzy

Circus of slaughter