Frank: How do you do I,
See you've met my,
Faithful handyman

He's just a little brought down
Because when you knocked
He thought you were the candyman

Don't get strung out, by the way I look
Don't judge a book by it's cover
I'm not much of a man, by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover

Chorus: I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania

Let me show you around
Maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy

Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie

Brad: I'm glad we caught you at home
Could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry

Janet :Right

Brad: We'll just say where we are
Then go back to the car
We don't want to be any worry

Frank: Well you got caught with a flat, well how bout that
Well, babies, don't you panic
By the light of the night it'll all seem alright
I'll get you a satanic mechanic

{chorus}

Frank: Why don't you stay for the night

Riff Raff: night!

Frank: Or maybe a bite

Columbia: bite!

I could show you my favourite obsession
I've been making a man
With blond hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my . . . tension

{chorus x2}

So- come up to the lab
And see what's on the slab
I see you shiver with antici . . . pation

But maybe the rain isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause
But not the symptom