Well life on a crotch is kinda laid back
Watching them peckers try to get in her crack
I get messy when they slip me off the track
THANK GOD IM A PUBIC HAIR!

Well she fluffs me up when she's going on a date
Tosses me aside when she gonna masterbate
Scratches me to death if her period's late
THANK GOD IM A PUBIC HAIR!

When she's not feeling horny and she uses vaseline
Takes a little shower and rubs me clean
I'll appreciate it when I'm covered with cream
THANK GOD IM A PUBIC HAIR!

Well I like it when they eat
But I dont like when they diddle
I get touched when you pound on her middle
Curl right up when she takes a little piddle
THANK GOD IM A PUBIC HAIR!