Cookie Monster: Oh, hello,
this Alistair Cookie and welcome to Monsterpiece Theatre.
Today, we present musical story of two monsters who
no can get together because .
.. one is inside and one is outside.
Big problem! What to do? Well,
let's find out. Here is "Inside, Outside Story".

(The scene is the back of a building looking onto an
alleyway. A woman, Maria, stands at a window above
the street, a man, Tony, stands below and two cats
sit on a fence next to them)

(sung)

Tony: Outside, outside
Yes, here I am outside
Out in the cold and dark alleyway
I'm here outside
How can she be my bride
If I'm out and she's in every day?

Maria: Inside
Here in my cozy room
I see my future groom
Yet I can't hold him tight
'Cause he's outside
And I'm inside this house
Day and night
Insiiiiiide

Cats: He's out, she's in
Their love cannot begin
Our lovers have not actually met
Rowrrrrr
Cruel fate has goofed
She's in under a roof (it begins to rain)
And he's out in the rain getting wet

Rowrrrrrr

Maria: Inside
My heart is nearly broken

Tony: Outside
My clothes are soakin'

Maria: I'm sure you'll be all right

(spoken)

Tony: Hey, wait a minute, I've got it!
Tonight I'll go inside where my true love awaits!
Why didn't I think of that before?
! I'm coming, Maria! (he scampers off stage)

Maria: I've got it! Tonight I will go outside to find
my love! What a bueno idea!
Te adoro, Tony! (she scampers out of view of the window)

(sung, after Tony appears at the window and Maria is now on the street)

Together: Oh no, tonight
Must in and outside still be our plight?
That's riiiiiiight

(the cats shake their heads and leave. Tony sneezes)

(back to Cookie Monster)

Cookie (emotion choking his voice): Oh,
oh, boy, me know how they feel.
(he picks up a cookie) Right now,
this cookie outside me mouth .
.. (opens his mouth wide, then closes it) .
.. oh, ho, tragedy for me tastebuds.
No way. (devours it in his usual beloved style) Ohhhh, me feel better.