Susan: Don't shout grouchy Oscar don't shout
That's not what our singing's about
So if you can't take
The noise that we make
Go back to your trashcan and pout
All: Ooooh, ABC, 123, pigs in a tree
Don't ever sit on a woodpecker's knee
ABC, 123 fiddle-dum-dee-deee
Come on and sing-along with me
Bob: (Hey, I got one!)
Various voices urge him to share
Bob: A furry blue monster named Herry
Herry: (Hey, that's me!)
Bob: When asked "Are you strong?" replied "Very!"
Then just for a laugh
He tore 3 cars in half
Now I ask "Is that necessary?"
All: Oooooh, ABC, 123, pigs in a tree
Don't ever sit on a woodpecker's knee
ABC, 123 fiddle-dum-dee-deee
Come on and sing-along with me
The Count: (Oh, I have one!)
85 bats hanging in the steeple
One bat flies in through the door
That makes 86 ...
(splash sound)
Ernie: (Sorry everybody, I have one!)
Bert: (Do you have a towel, Ernie?)
Ernie: (No, Bert, I have a verse.)

Bert: (Oh no.)
Ernie: (It goes like this.)
You all know our good buddy Bert
Bert: (oh no)
Ernie: Whose feelings are easily hurt
When his friends all play dressup, ol' Bert has to fess up
Bert: Yeah, I'm always the one in the skirt ...( and I don't like it...)
All: Ooooooh, ABC, 123, pigs in a tree
Don't ever sit on a woodpecker's knee
ABC, 123 fiddle-dum-dee-deee
Come on and sing-along with me
Bert: (Excuse me, I have one.
) (various voices urge him on) (Yeah,
you'll love it, it's really groovy. Ahem.)
There once was a man named McDowell
Who planted a tree with a trowel
Then he got in a shower, where he stayed for an hour
and said - "SOMEBODY GIVE ME A TOWEL!!"
All: Ooooooh, ABC, 123, pigs in a tree
Don't ever sit on a woodpecker's knee
ABC, 123 fiddle-dum-dee-deee
Come on and sing-along with me
Come on and sing-along with me
At the end of the original record is heard this cute exchange:
Ernie: Okay, you can turn it over now.
Herry: Sure thing, Ernie.
(sound of piano crashing)
Ernie: Herry! Not the piano! The record! Turn over the record!
Herry (meekly): Sorry.