(Indescipherable foreign accent)
Is everybody ready?
Hans? Johann? Heidi?
Let's go, everybody.

I'm sorry I'm a girl,
and not a man.
Then I could come all the time,
in the palm of my precious little hand.

Get drunk in the bars,
and act like a klutz.
It really wouldn't matter.
I'd be too stupid to be nuts.

(Chorus)
I Wanna Be a Man
So I can stink.
A big, tough guy.
I'm sick of pink.

And if I was a man,
I could tell lots of lies
About all the girls I've fucked.
Just like all of you guys.

I'd be self-sufficent.
And I wouldn't need another.
But if I got a little boo-boo.
I'd go running back to my mother.

(Chorus)

And if I was a man,
I'd always be hot.
Wouldn't matter what I fucked,
Just as long as it's got a twat.

I'd just rip off her pants,
And fuck her, 1, 2, 3.
How did this stinking cunt,
Have the luck to find me.
(Ooo!)

(Chorus)

And if I was a man,
I could piss anywhere.
Piss on your wrist, you sonofabitch.
When you're a man, you don't care.

I could fuck any time,
and be hard as a rock.
Spend my life worrying about
the size of my teeny little cock.

(Chorus)

And if I was a man,
All you sluts would give me head.
(I'd) Get my rocks off,
then I'd kick you out of bed.

Be tackless and boring,
with nauseating breath.
I'd be a worthless piece of shit
From birth until death.
(Everybody!)

(Chorus)

(Everybody sing)

(Chorus repeated in background)