Doctor Birch came round the house,
Took one long look, then grounded me and said
"You didn't take to heart what Doctor Smith Said"
"You didn't take to heart what Doctor Smith Said"
Doctor Smith, Doctor
Doctor Smith, in a nutshell,
Talked rent and trade, commodities and price,
I always fell asleep during his lecture,
I always fell asleep during his lecture,

Doctor Smith, Doctor
Doctor Birch, Doctor

Now Doctor Birch comes round the house,
With frightening regularity,
I remain grounded, couch-bound,
I think I always will

Always will, always
Always will, always