He wants a shoehorn
The kind with teeth
People should get beat up
for statin' their beliefs

He wants a shoehorn
The kind with teeth
'cause he knows there's no such thing

He asked a girl
If they can both sit in a chair
But he doesn't get nervous
She's not really there

He wants a shoehorn
the kind with teeth
'cause he knows there's no such thing

Tour the world
in a heavy metal band
but they run out of gas
the plane may never land

He wants a shoehorn
The kind with teeth
People should get beat up
for statin' their beliefs

He wants a shoehorn
The kind with teeth
'cause he knows there's no such thing

What's the sense
in ever thinkin' 'bout the tomb
when you're much too busy
returnin' to the womb?

He wants a shoehorn
The kind with teeth
People should get beat up
for statin' their beliefs

He wants a shoehorn
The kind with teeth
'cause he knows there's no such thing