Well, I'm a jitterbug boy by the shoe-shine
Resting on my laurels and my Hardy's too
Life of Riley on a swing shift gears follow my drift
Once upon a time I was in show-biz too

I seen the Brooklyn Dodgers playin' at Eb bets Field
Seen the Kentucky Derby too
It's fast women, slow horses, I'm reliable sources
And I'm holding up a lamp post if you want to know

I seen the Wabash Cannonball, buddy, I've done it all
Because I slept with the lions and Marilyn Monroe
Had breakfast in the eye of a hurricane
Fought Rocky Marciano, played Minnesota Fats

Burned hundred-dollar bills, I eaten Mulligan stew
And got drunk with Louis Armstrong what's that old song?
I taught Mickey Mantle everything that he knows

And so you ask me what I'm doing here holding up a lamp post
Flippin' this quarter trying to make up my mind
And if it's heads I'll go to Tennessee, and tails I'll buy a drink
If it lands on the edge I'll keep talking to you