He's big, fat, ugly, and mean
Too many beers and he's a shitting machine
Once he's drunk he likes to fight
Any fifteen year old in sight

Don't try to run, don't try to hide
He'll steal your car without thinking twice
Stop the party, hide your shit
Because Fat Randy's in the house tonight

High school parties are his thing
He drives up in his orange machine
He'll start fighting with his friends
Fat Randy gets you in the end

FAT RANDY snuck in my house
FAT RANDY shit on my couch
FAT RANDY quiet as a mouse
FAT RANDY, FAT RANDY!

I see Fat Randy now and then
Driving around with a carload of friends
I see Fat Randy now and then
Driving around with a carload of friends