Who is the naughtiest child?
Who drives their French teacher wild?
And when he's telling you lies
He looks you straight in the eye

Got kicked in the side
In the side, it's the same again
Got kicked in the hide
Must be then, it was now and then

He's got the social disease
J-J-J-John!
Grass stains and cuts on his knees
J-J-J-John!
He won't listen to a word that you say
J-J-J-John!
He'll steal your daughters away

Got kicked in the side
In the side, it's the same again
Got kicked in the hide
Must be then, it was now and then

You took him home to meet your queen
You know you didn't want to, know you didn't want to
And lent him all your good CDs
You know you didn't want to, know you didn't want to
You said you were the only one
You know you didn't want to, know you didn't want to
They broke the mould for dear old John
You know you didn't want to, know you didn't want to

Got kicked in the side
In the side, it's the same again
Got kicked in the hide
Must be then, it was now and then

J-J-J-J-John
J-J-J-J-John