Schools out Christmas break
Home for the holidays
Meatloaf and fruitcake
Off to grandmas
It?s so boring
Screaming kids and grandpa snoring
My aunt Margaret?s lost her mind
Tripping on a train set
Have another box of wine

Its gonna be a merry, merry, merry, frickin? christmas
I must be on Santa Clause?s shit list
The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss
Shoot me now I?m sick of all my relatives
A merry, merry, merry frickin? christmas

Uncle Richard he?s a weirdo
Passing out pictures of himself in a speedo
My cousin Ashley her singing really sucks
Blames it on her drummer and her acid reflux (?)
My brother?s wife is really hot
She pulled me in the bathroom I hope we don?t get caught

Its gonna be a merry, merry, merry, frickin? christmas
I must be on Santa Clause?s shit list
The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss
Shoot me now I?m sick of all my relatives
A merry, merry, merry frickin? christmas

We haven?t even opened up our presents yet
Now its time to start
So I?ll fake a smile
Because it?s going back to Wal-mart
* knock knock* ?Sweetie are you okay in there? (moan)

Its gonna be a merry, merry, merry frickin christmas
I must be on Santa Clause?s shit list
The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss
Shoot me now I?m sick of all my relatives
A merry, merry, merry frickin christmas

Merry frickin? christmas
Hohohoho I?m Santa W. Clause and I approve this message.