I'm Doug
And I'm Darrell
And we are squirrels
We live in your backyard in a big oak tree
That's our world
We saw you and your family
Filming us with your Flip cam
Shakin' out little tails
Eating crackers from your hand
We know we're irresistible
Seemingly even kissable
Extremely home video-able
And effortlessly uploadable
But what makes you think that gives you the right
To make us internet memes
Overnight

We didn't sign a release
You didn't get our consent
To put our private lives on the public internet
We didn't sign a release

You seem surprised to find we're upset
You wonder
"How in the world can squirrels talk
Much less have the internet"
Well, you have email
We have tree mail
You have smartphones
We have pinecones
You have social networks
We have elaborate squeaks and chirps

-Squirrel noises-
He just said
"You have no right to publish or
Distribute audio or video recordings
Of us including, but not limited to
Our names, recorded mating calls,
Photographs, likenesses, nest location,
Tail length, or any information
Based on or derived there from"
-Squirrel noises-
Ah yes
"In any forest..."
-Squirrel noises-
"...And perpetuity"

If you don't cease and presist
A suit will be filed
Especially if we end up in the next
Squirrelz Gone Wild

We didn't sign a release
You didn't get our consent
To put our private lives on the public internet
We didn't sign a release
You violated our trust
We don't want the world to see the secret place
Where we hide our nuts
We didn't sign a release