I don't drink seltzer, cause I'm afraid of bubbles
I don't take showers, showers take me
And I don't smoke, cause I ain't a chimney
I don't ever curse, cause I always wash my mouth
I don't drive a car, I drive a minivan
I don't "LOL", still I write it in a text
I don't use a mod, cause I'm not a noob
I don't wear Ugg's, cause my sister won't let me!
I don't do homework, I'm allergic to pencils
And I don't flush, cause I made a masterpiece
I don't work out, cause I look good already
I don't spend money, cause money is green, we gotta save the Earth...
Just Kidding!
I don't clean up,cause I am a dumpster
I don't eat cats, cause they look like Justin Bieber
I don't read books,I only eat apples
And I don't lie, my nose is way to small
I don't do drugs, I ain't Lou Ferrigno
And I don't love the way you lie
I don't ever fly, cause I ain't got wings
And I don't cry when the bullies pick on me
I don't cut the grass, my mower does it for me
I don't drink alcohol, I rub it on my arm
I don't throw bricks, cause they crush my fingers
I don't wear glasses, I only wear my fro
I don't ride a skateboard, I don't know how to stop
I don't say "IDK", I say "I don't know"
I don't lick lollipops, I crunch them instead
I don't even know how to speak in Chinese
That's a disappointment, and I'm really embarrassed by it
So, right now I'm going to learn some Chinese
So I can speak Chinese to you guys
So right now I'm gonna go and
I'm going to end this song, right now ummm...
Right here!